December 10, 2007

The Rogerio Extravaganza

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 7:48 am by berniexltd

Chic and Buzz Rogerio are two Italian stallions who wear their South Philly pride on their sleeves. The brothers rose from sleeping on a fold out couch in a one bedroom apartment on Broad and ‘Shunk as children, to become Philly’s most ingenious comic duo. The Rogerio’s will melt the ice and pretense off of any cynic’s heart.

In between drags of a Marlboro Red Buzz explains “As we got older we got hooked up playing ball retriever at botchi ball games, went from there started doing bingo nights.”

Chic sits on the hood of a Honda civic he doesn’t own. “We got jobs at the Dolphin a while back, a topless club on Broad and Tasker. Jenna [from Uncut Productions] seen us on our myspace and asked to host.” Moving from their work at the Dolphin, the Rogerio brothers were recruited by the Philly-based sketch comedy group Shabadelphia Productions (www.shabadelphia.com), branching into online television with the South Philly Extravaganza show.

The boys said it best on their myspace: “its no coincidence we were born in the rizzo years. we like crackin heads and liftin beers right out of the philadeli refrigerators. so maybe those beers then find their way into the hands of kids who still wear uniforms to school…we ain’t nobody’s parents, officially. we’re the rogerio brothers, chicky and buzzy. we get our teeth fixed at broad and shunk. you might find us at the dolphin club rubbin elbows with the most sensational hookers this side of sinatras dressing room. we like murals on broad street, free things, keepin the italian market italian, and pretzels. we egged the ritas on passyunk as a warning…this is john’s country. next time, who knows, someone might end up with pee pee in their misto. chickie gets nuts. we host the drunken spelling bee all over the city, but mostly bob and barbaras at 15th and south. come by, drink, spell, or don’t. whatever.we get hookers either way, and we ain’t payin.”

As hosts of the drunken spelling bee, the Rogerios are quite the language lovers. “I was reading the Romana Series by Beverly Cleary” Buzz eagerly exclaims. “I moved on from there you know to the one about Ralph and the motor cycles, that dude’s the shit. I think the orange county chopper fellas should make a mouse sized bike.”

Chick prefers films. “I’m a movie guy. The last movie I saw I’ve seen many times. Raging Bull. I’m a big fan of that flick.”

Buzz is quick to interject and steal Chick’s thunder at every chance he can get. “The last movie I saw was the Paris Hilton sex dvd. I watched it last night and this morning.”

As a staple of their Italian-American pride, the brothers adore Frank Rizzo, Philly’s most controversial mayor.

“Frank Rizzo was the Tupac of Philadelphia. He’s just bidin’ his time. He’s still Vito and shit. 2012 he’s comin’ back and I know it. Michael Nutter don’t get too comfortable! You ever see ghost busters when that dude jumped outta that statue? thats what Rizzo’s gonna do! He’s gonna bust some heads with a night stick!”

Post round three of the Drunken Spelling Bee, after several minutes of basking in the gleeful debauchery of raining cup cake icing and city-wide specials, I turn to see a girl on the dance floor with an ear-to-ear smile as Pabst Blue Ribbon flows down her exposed breasts like a Milwaukee waterfall. My roommate and our female friend all look at each other with the same stupid-ass involuntary grin. There comes a time when you gotta’ stop taking things so seriously.

The Drunken Spelling Bee at Bob and Barbara’s is one of the funnest things to do in a Philly bar, let alone on a Monday night when jobs and school tells us we should be worrying about other crap. As if trying to retain the glory of their childhood with same competitive zeal they sported under the spotlight at a rival middle school before the buzzer rang in the fourth quarter, this nostalgia burns more intensely as the words and alcohol flow between rounds. Whether you were a starting quarter back, a mathlete, or just played in soccer games to eat the oranges and fruit snacks at half-time, there’s a place for you at the Drunken Spelling Bee.

Check out at the Rogerio Brothers and Uncut Productions myspace for more information regarding upcoming Spelling Bees. Below is an episode of the Rogerio Extravaganza Show produced by Shabedelphia.