October 30, 2007

“There’s no place like home.”

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:07 pm by inkjacket

Hey Philly fanatics (and/or haters- hell, it IS a love/hate relationship the ways I sees it),
Jen here- your unofficial, now Brooklyn-based, illadelph nostalgia correspondent/(ambassador?lol). Hello. I. Miss. Philadelphia. I went home this past weekend and I’ll tell ya, crossing over the Ben Franklin, the view was never sweeter.
“But Jen, you’ve only been gone a few months!”
“………,”::bitch slap::
-yea that’s right, don’t judge the missin’.
Violence of passion aside, I love it here. Brooklyn/NY- if you’ve never been, you must. Use me for info-I’ll be around.

Thought I’d start off my contribution to this blog with some visuals to take y’all back. More writing to come. Enjoy.

“In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?”
-Mark Twain

“The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
-Frank Rizzo
Frank Rizzo
(one of those ‘fun-to-pose-with’ statues we all know)

Streets of Philadelphia-GREAT video, check it out.

“Let every man or woman here, if you never hear me again, remember this, that if you wish to be great at all, you must begin where you are and with what you are. He who would be great anywhere must first be great in his own Philadelphia.”
-Russel H. Conwell


October 29, 2007

The Nicest Place To Be Dead in Philadelphia

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 5:35 pm by Justin Murphy

Laurel Hill Cemetary, which seems to be fairly unknown to a lot of people, is far and away the nicest place to be dead in Philadelphia. Basically, in the 1830’s, Philadelphia’s richest families began burying their deceased in this newly established cemetary, set purposely away from the hustle and bustle of the city. The result, now, after almost two centuries, is that the place is absolutely remarkable. Roughly 75 acres, with 33,000 monuments most of which are huge, expensive, and beautiful. This is one of those cases in which the competitively conspicuous consumption of the wealthy has fortunately left everyone else with something to really enjoy. In fact, from the beginning, the cemetary was intended to be a place of enjoyment. Offering very well-kept and winding cement paths as well as a vista onto the Schuylkill, the huge cemetary, which sits atop those cliffs running along Kelly Drive, originally charged admission! Now, it’s free. It’s one of only two cemeteries in the country that have the honor of being named a National Historic Landmark, and it is worth the bike ride to East Falls from anywhere downtown.

In fact, my bike ride through the cemetary was easily the nicest single bike ride I’ve had this autumn. Try it.

To Match the Mood

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 3:24 am by m0fresh

Like many of you, my life must always be matched with an amazing soundtrack. There comes a point every now and then when my iTunes list just ain’t cuttin it and I simply have no idea what to listen to. I am fully aware of my mood, i understand what type of music I want…but the artist names loosely scroll down, unable to reel me in.
The perfect discovery: Musicovery!

This genius mechanism asks you to pinpoint what type of mood you’re in, allows you to focus on a wide range of styles and decades, and finally sends you down a colorful road of the perfect music to fit your soundtrack.

—>Check it.

October 27, 2007

CMJ Diary

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:51 pm by leahpav


I was lucky enough to get hooked up with a CMJ badge this year from music marketing company The Syndicate. I discovered when they call it a music marathon, they really mean it – I saw 25+ bands, slept an average of 3 hours a night and was essentially homeless for a week in New York City. Was it worth it? Every gosh darn minute. Pictures to come as soon as I figure out how to use the interweb.

Monday, 10/15/07

1:30 PM – Contemplate beginning article with a poem titled “Ode to the Chinatown Bus.” Idea is unceremoniously nixed after sitting in traffic on Jersey Turnpike for two hours.

4 PM – Arrive in NYC and make my way to the midtown club Rebel NYC for The Syndicate Conflict of Interest party. Hugs are exchanged, and I am promptly recruited to dress mannequins in gear from 66 North, one of our sponsors. Glamorous.

7 PM – Doors open, and important people begin arriving.

8 PM – Discover the wonder of industry free drink tickets.

8:30 PM – 9 PM – Regain my composure to catch a hot minute of We Are Scientists at the main stage, then head over to work the raffle table. Stare longingly at the Pabst Blue Ribbon guitar.

10 PM – Start a dance party with my boss in the DJ Room.

1 AM – Carnival punk rockers World Inferno Friendship Society begin to play. Forgive them for starting an hour an a half late after they rock my face off.

2:30 AM – Collapse onto couch #1 at a friends’ house in Jersey City.

Tuesday, 10/16/07

Read the rest of this entry »

An idea

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:44 pm by philipmatthews

Is anyone interested in creating a LandPhil variety show to promote/be promoted by this blog — something like neo-cabaret?


I think we should shake the scene up a bit.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

Short acts

* Music (But not as we’re used to (and maybe tired of) seeing it — short, adaptable, sometimes improvisational sets.)

* Video (Short films, highlights from movies or commercials, music videos, original/unoriginal/whatever…)

* Performance/Theater (Monologues, puppets, short plays, spectacles.)

*Poetry/Readings (Good found stuff and poetry/fiction that is together. NOT OPEN-MIC, which goes for all of this.)

*Collaboration (Collaboration is something we don’t do enough of.)

A feature

*A band, or

*A play, or

*A film, or

*A band play film.

Other things


*Whatever else happens when we drink a lot of drinks (The Unknown.)

And, at the end of the night, because we do it really well:


Phillatio- The Beginning

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 9:43 pm by Miss Take

Why, hello there. In case you have yet to notice, our beautiful little world is covered in sex. Thank the lord. Since I like it and I know you like it, I’m going write about it. The ins the outs, the ups the downs. What makes it good, what makes it awkward. Anything you hoped your mother would never talk to you about, I expect to explore. It’s just me, you, and your johnson and/or vajayjay. Hopefully what I tell you helps you in your quest for great sex or at least makes you horny. Actually, I more so hope it helps me on my quest for great sex, as this damn city seems to be greatly lacking it. I may not be a great writer, but I am a lover of all things sex. I’ll review sex toys, lubes, positions…really anything I can get my sticky little hands on. I’ll talk about sex etiquette, maybe even throw in a few stories. Whatever my dirty mind comes up with, I will be sure to share. In the end, I hope to make you want to touch yourself…or even better touch someone else. Spread the love, not the clap. Ah yes, and be sure to enjoy some Phillatio!

Miss Take

October 25, 2007

The Greatest Song of All Time: 001. Young Marble Giants ‘Brand – New – Life’

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 1:34 am by htshell

Welcome to “The Greatest Song of All Time.” With this column, I’ll be highlighting pieces through the ages that fit the mold the deities prescribed. Let’s partake in the sweetest nectar that was given us: SONG.
What’s in a great song? Obviously it’s a bit preposterous to have a recurring column called ‘The Greatest Song of All Time.’ But isn’t music journalism already filled with such ridiculous hyperbole? But more obviously, this column will simply be a platform for me to share my favorite music.
Also, I’d be remiss to not acknowledge the influence for the idea: the sadly no longer updated Greatest Band of All Time, a blog from the Pacific NW written by Zac Pennington of Parenthetical Girls and Steve Schroeder of States Rights Records.

young marble giants

GSOAT: #001
YEAR: 1980
LINK: here

Since Rough Trade is the Greatest Label of All Time, the Young Marble Giants seem like a fine starting point. While the label has had a great deal of “classic” bands (The Smiths, The Fall, The Go-Betweens, Stiff Little Fingers, Arthur Russell, more recently The Strokes and Belle and Sebastian), Young Marble Giants are indicative of what was and is truly special and revolutionary about Rough Trade.
In February 1980, the label released the band’s only album Colossal Youth. While the rest of the post-punk scene was trying to fuck shit up with dissonant guitars or disco-punk beats, YMG took a much different approach, throwing away all excesses for something soft, focused, and intense. Any of the group’s songs can have no more than four things going at once, because the three-piece played with a simple, boring drum machine behind them.
“Brand – New – Life” starts off with the drum machine that beats straight the whole song, acting as a metronome. Phil Moxham’s straight eighth-note bass plods along throughout the entire song, giving it the right amount of monotony. The vocals and lyrics reflect the monotony of the rhythmn: “When I hear the doorbell ring/I can never let them into me.” It’s a rumination of listlessness and depression, which are not hard to imagine considering the gloomy locale of Cardiff, Wales. The band realized that sometimes more effective statements can be made by what one removes from a song, rather than filling a song with unnecessary elements. Simplicity is beauty.

Young Marble Giants on Wikipedia

Young Marble Giants Web Archive

Domino Records 

Pitchfork review of Domino reissue by Douglas Wolk

Ugladelphia is Better than Killadelphia

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 1:33 am by Justin Murphy

A recent survey by Travel & Leisure Magazine puts Philadelphia dead last in a ranking of American cities with respect to the attractiveness of its population. If the staff of this blog is anything of a sample population, then the T&L survey is obviously skewed. (OK, you’re right, we here at Landphil are clearly biased upward in sex appeal, true; scratch that). But really, almost all of my friends here in Philadelphia are good looking. Perhaps that calls into question what I really look for in a friend, but I doubt it–most of the people I particularly don’t care much for are also pretty good looking.

Now, I’m not interested in rejecting wholesale the methodology of the survey or in counter-hyping Philadelphia as the country’s sexiest city. But there are a few things worthy of mention. A few qualifications, with varying levels of seriousness and no necessary consistency with one another, should dampen the force of this survey’s conclusions:

(By the way, I found this on the front page of Buzzfeed.com, a website that gauges the most talked-about news on the interweb. Right, that means all of your too-cool friends in Brooklyn as well as that cousin in Des Moines are all seriously revising their estimation of you.)

1. It was an online survey on travelandleisure.com. Sounds to me like a HUGE self-selection bias: who the hell reads the Travel and Leisure website and has any interest in filling out stupid surveys? Let’s paint a picture to figure out who exactly is calling us ugly.

A.) To begin, we’re talking about people with a lot of leisure, and I don’t mean that tautologically with reference to the title of the magazine. I know that I don’t have time to look at pictures of pretty oceans and I definitely don’t have time to fill out surveys, even if they offer me that iPod. What do we know about people with this kind of leisure which is also known as “too much time on the hands”? Not much, but we can speculate: bourgeois for sure; middle class (or more precisely, wannabe upper-middle-class); probably very limited social life hence the magazine as substitute and survey as outlet for bitterness; and, most importantly, probably unattractive. No, really. Good looking people are too busy being good looking to spend hours ranking 25 cities in 8 damn categories. I mean, my god, that’s a lot of work; it is way too much work for anyone who, say, has a date to get ready for or something crazy like that. In sum, we’ve been convicted of ugliness by, yes, your mothers. Are any of you still offended?

B.) Really, though, the most laughably ironic element of the sampling bias is that the people who read those magazines are rarely even well-traveled. People who actually, say, go places, don’t have the time or need to read and gawk at pictures of them. On the contrary, the people who read those magazines and their websites are most often people who like to think of themselves and show themselves off as well-traveled and knowledgeable about other places. Actually, often, the magazine is specifically a compensation and even surrogate for the actual lack of first-hand experience! (I know anecdotal evidence is statistically taboo but my mom just got me a subscription to National Geographic Traveler and we’re very, very scarcely citizens of the world.) And who, at any rate, has ever been to every last one of those 25 cities on the list? What does this mean? It means, I would suggest, at least two things: First, for the questions dealing with things out-of-reach to the respondent for personal and not geographic reasons, I bet they would tend to answer on prejudice: “I’m older than dirt and I don’t go clubbing but I know they do that in Miami!” Second, since most people only really truly know about their own city or the one closest to them, I bet they tend to exaggerate favorably all the traits that are closer-to-hand: “I’ve never actually been to any of these other places but I know my nephew is undoubtedly the most handsome young man alive, and my daughter is rather cute too, therefore I think Charleston is strongly attractive.” I think some combination of these two are the only way to explain how Miami and San Diego can be followed by Charleston and Austin, to beat out both LA and New York. Not suspicious yet?

2. The questions asked respondents to rate each city 1-5, with 5 being the strongest. People don’t read directions, of course, so I’d hypothesize that when people rated the strength of a city from 1-5, they’d naturally put 1 to rate it very strongly. It is easy to see how Philadelphia landed least attractive; for the category “attractive,” a lot of people came to Philadelphia and thought: “#1!”

3. I would be willing to bet that even if Philadelphia does have the least attractive people, we could expect from this that its few attractive people would take on a more intense attractiveness than a city filled with pretty people. A diamond in the rough betrays a more intense beauty than it does when it is thrown into a pool of other diamonds. On a psychologico-aesthetic level I think this is good grounds for suggesting that Philadelphia’s attractive people, when one comes to Philadelphia, display the grandeur of Gods among men, whereas a brief stay in Miami would be akin to literally jumping in that pool of diamonds and removing the perspectival distance necessary for any appreciation at all.

4. If Philadelphia is so overwhelmingly unattractive, it is really easy to sort out the attractives from the unattractives. The diamond in the rough is still all-too-apt an example. If you live in one of those weirdly attractive cities, I bet it’s really easy to be tricked by an unattractive: You just assume that everyone’s hot! Perhaps in Philly the contrast makes for easier discernment, but also, one is just more on guard for the frauds.

5. If what they say about Philadelphia is true, I think that would tend to make the separate communities of attractive and unattractive more united and happy. In cities filled with hot people, you have to imagine the politics are really brutal. The hottest perpetually try to exile the not-as-hot and the not-as-hot constantly push out the getting-less-hot in a ruthless jockeying for position, while the few uglies backstab each other in any desperate attempt to join the majority. If Philadelphia has so many unattractive people, that is good for everyone: we lucky ones can be happy with each other in our mutual good fortune and the rest have so many others of equally poor endowments to keep them company.

Either the survey is methodologically bankrupt, or its good news at any rate. But rest assured because if you’re reading this you’re probably hot, anyway.

October 23, 2007

Music Videos with Joey

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:36 am by joestak

Greeting from LA for the time being. I really have no idea what to call this music video posting/column of mine so I just wrote that in for now. This Column will feature the best music video’s of the week. Also best music video’s within a theme surrounding seasonal holidays, current events, and just whatever. There will also be reviews on particular videos from time to time. Along with occasional business news and updates. I’ll start things out slow (or wicked fast) with these next 2 videos.

FIRST: Mendetz- Maximo Truffato (with Venessa Incontrada) (Director Unknown) It’s not often that a music video starts out awesome, takes a turn for what you think is the worst, but then for the best… does that make sense? Stick it through this video cause it gets pretty gnarly.

SECOND: Leonard de Leonard – Screaming Dance (Director K+Me)

3 words. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. This video is one of the BADDEST (in a good way) after effects 2-D animation video’s I’ve seen in a while. It comes from a director that goes by K+Me from Tokyo. No wonder why it’s so good

You are on Your Own.

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 2:35 am by salsaramirez

The Right Hook
If you’ve ridden your bike around Philly, you’re probably familiar with an interesting phenomenon. There you are, passing a car on the right and all the sudden…wait a fuckingmoment the fucker is turning right into me!

This 19 year old girl wasn’t lucky enough to give the driver the finger afterwards. No, the driver wasn’t cited. She was in the bike lane, at a red light which, coincidentally, probably also placed here smack dab in the blind spot of the cement truck that crushed her to death.

Earlier this semester, I intentionally crossed an intersection in front of an SUV who decided that since I was on a bike, I didn’t have the right of way. My buddy, who had riding behind me, later informed me that the guys who had called me a “fucking faggot”, later informed me that they were uniformed cops.

I guess this is just a reminder kids. You are on your own, and no level of compliance with stop signs/traffic lights/signaling is guaranteed to keep your ass from being smeared on the asphalt.



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